a letter of thanks

After spending months job-hunting and getting more and more frustrated with recruitment agencies, I landed a position and then wrote a letter to the owner of the recruitment agency expressing my views. Here is that letter. (please excuse the quality, for some reason I failed at cut and paste).

Training for Motherhood

It occurred to me whilst folding laundry (oh I lead an exciting life, I do), that someone should have given me a list of things to do before having children, and if I could cope with those things, then I was more likely to cope being a mother.

This is my list but feel free to add any recommendations!

1. Fill a squirty bottle with urine and spray throughout the house and car (it's a smell you really need to get used to)
2. Shove a biscuit/piece of toast into any available opening - such as a vcr (if you still have one)
3. Smear your work clothes with wheat bix immediately before you leave for work
4. Leave matchbox cars, marbles and other random toys throughout the house and navigate the walk to the kitchen in the dark without hurting yourself
5. Buy an industrial sized washing machine and dryer
6. Read a children's books whilst mentally somewhere else
7. Love craft and be able to turn an egg carton into various animals using only the contents of the pantry (and incidently I have 2 boys hassling me to 'make fish craft' right as I type this)
8. Empty a bag of sand into your car
9. Take a couple of puppies to the supermarket and make sure puppies don't destroy anything or wee on the floor
10. Dress an octopus
11. Set an alarm clock to wake you up at regular intervals during the night. At one of those times, empty a container of curdled milk all over your bed and the carpet and then clean it up and change the sheets.
12. Play a Hi5 cd on repeat in your car, and your house if you can.

Enthused and Ready

So finally I'm back on the blog. Blog people, not bog. It's taken a couple of days into the new year but I've eased my way into my resolutions - which this year started as 'I refuse to make resolutions' but now it's a simple 'move more, eat better (and less) and drink less'. Simple. I've even been on my treadmill twice already. I know, it's a miracle.

I discovered though that my jogging shoes were actually causing me a recurring blister so I bought two new pairs today. No excuses now. I'm actually itching to try them out so when I had the blissfulness of having the house to myself for an hour or so, I thought............... I might look in the cupboard and grab a chocolate or two and get on the computer. D'oh!!

Move along now, nothing to see here. Oh well, I'll do an extra 15 minutes tonight. Promise.

Ok so 2009 is gone for good and good riddance too I say. I start my new job next Monday and I'm super excited and just a teeny bit nervous. I must say it will be nice to be driving the opposite direction to all the poor commuters travelling south to Sydney. I shall wave my hand in a queen-like manner and laugh 'ha ha ha suckers!'.

I hope all my readers have a fantasticly bouncy 2010!

Treadmills are Dangerous

Awhile back I bought myself a treadmill. 2 days before it arrived I sprained my ankle falling down a flight of stairs. This is one example of my superior talent.

I've used the treadmill sporadically, is that a word?, well from time to time. When I'm not using it, it collects dust, or washing, sometimes both.

In order to use the treadmill I need to attach an extension cord, plug it all in, get the safety magnet thingy from the cupboard (you attach it to the treadmill and clip it to yourself in case you fall off then the treadmill automatically stops - or when you are running and your hand accidently hits the cord and the safety clip comes off the treadmill and you slam to a halt face-planting style into the treadmill controls - yes, just another talent).

We had a new lounge delivered the other week and so I thought it was an ideal time to change the position of the treadmill so it was closer to the power point and therefore easier to use. I folded up the base so it clicked into place and pushed it into a new position. As I turned the treadmill the clip undid itself and the base slammed down and into the wall. Well, through the wall. Another talent discovered - even I didn't think I was this good.

As it fell I gasped, swore, remembered Rowdy was in the room, and looked at the damage - one gaping big hole.

Now that I'd gone to all this trouble and caused all this destruction I figured I'd better actually use it. Mr Chic saw where I'd moved the treadmill to after I'd admitted making the hole and he said 'no running on it, if you fall off the back you'll go straight through that window and it's a long way down from 2 stories up'. Oh good, I hadn't thought of that.

Maybe I'm safer just putting washing on it.

The Mirror of Parenting

Crash upset Rowdy last night. Something about a purple matchbox car and their inability to share. Rowdy then started crying. Crash got the cranks and stood up from where he was playing on the floor and yelled at Rowdy 'STOP CRYING!!!'. Rowdy proceeded to cry even more. Crash then jumped up and down, threw his car on the floor and screamed in frustration 'HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!'.

I know exactly where Crash got that from. Not pleasant seeing a mirror of your own parenting reflected back at you by your kids.

Scales

Rowdy can't pronounce L's. Possibly because he learnt to speak with a dummy in his mouth. Bad mother. Bad. So now I'm working with him to say his L's properly. We've been doing different words and last night I did some 'la' singing with him. We sang the scales, you know, la la la la la, do re mi re do (or whatever it is, hey I'm not a music teacher, it's just up the scale and then down).

So here's how it went (and you'll have to use your imagination about the tone of the notes):

Me: Sing la la la la la
Rowdy: la la la la la
Me: Sing le le le le le
Rowdy: le le le le le
Me: Sing lu lu lu lu lu
Rowdy: lu lu lu lu lu
Me: Sing lo lo lo lo lo
Rowdy: yoghurt yoghurt yoghurt

at which point we both collapsed in fits of giggles.

Product Testing

Last Friday night I picked up some ice cream on the way to a girlfriend's for dinner. Sara Lee Rocky Road Overload. It. Was. Divine.

'Rocky Road Overload; luscious chocolate ice cream overloaded with marshmallows, chocolate coated peanuts and delicious raspberry swirls.'

Crash loved it too (not that I wanted to share). I finished off the tub the other night, on the lounge, tub in one hand, spoon in the other, and a devil's glint in my eye. Crash then informed me the next day that 'Mum, we need to buy more rock and roll ice cream'. Yes, yes we do.

Now I discover there are two other 'Indulgence' flavours.

Chocolate Ecstasy; chunky white and dark chocolate pieces packed in the richest, creamiest chocolate ice cream.

KAHLUA ® Mudslide; coffee liqueur blended through lusciously creamy ice cream and swirled with a mudslide of thick chocolate fudge.

Me thinks I shall get cracking to the supermarket and test these out. Mr Chic only likes vanilla ice cream, which is a shame, because I'll be forced to eat them all myself. Except this time I will hide them in the freezer behind the peas or something so that Crash doesn't spy it!!