The Restaurant

A certain flyer which appeared amongst this week's junk mail has attracted the boy's attention, and it's not a toy catalogue. Crash and Rowdy have been pouring over it for days. They have even pretended the loungeroom was a restaurant and telling us off for sitting in the wrong place in "the restaurant".

Crash has been saying "Mum, Mum, can we please go to the CFK Restaurant??"

"The what?" I replied. I look at the flyer, it's for KFC. "sure dear, but it's a far cry from a restaurant!!"

I've Decided Against Learning Pole Dancing

I couldn't help myself but giggle and watch it over and over again.

how many times did you watch this?

Clowns

This is how Crash appeared when Mr Chic picked him up from preschool today. The week's theme is clowns.

Because Rowdy was sick he didn't get to go to preschool today so he missed out. I reckon he'll be upset.

The Mechanic and The Cardiologist

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the Garage, 'Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?'

The cardiologist, a bit surprised,walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?'

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic...

'Try doing it with the engine running.'

What Happened To My Lovely Weekend.....

Saturday was a gorgeous sunny day. Gorgeous. So gorgeous in fact I got sunburnt. Only on the tip of my nose and the nice "v" on my chest. Good look I know. We spent the afternoon catching up with relatives at a sort of family reunion thingy and it was fantastic to see my cousins/second cousins (can never quite work that out) but it was great to see them and their cute kids. My boys were thrilled to be able to play with the "rocket launcher" which I now have to go searching the shops for. And because the boys were occupied I could relax and chat with a glass (or 2 or 3) of wine. In the sun. Bliss.

Sunday it was a little rainy and chores had to be done so I took the boys to Coles (woohoo exciting). They were such good helpers all morning that I bought them a motorbike each. When we got home they turned a little feral. Boredom was the problem so craft was the answer and some seated activities (I'd hurt my back at some point, still don't know how). Mr Chic cooked a fantastic roast dinner and I consumed a decent amount of a lovely red.

Baths for the boys and I did some work before collapsing on the lounge to watch more Nitro Circus (I'm hooked on that show at the moment). Crash was building a stunt ramp for his motorbike this morning so I'm sure he's seen the show too.

So our weekend was fairly lovely and we were all organised for preschool this morning. Right when we were going to bed we heard it. The Seal. Poor Rowdy had woken up "bark bark bark" and was quite wheezy. So I sat up with him and tried to get him to take medicine but he refused. I managed to get Vicks on his chest and he came into bed with me and slept on and off for the night. As did I, with his feet in my ribs. He's since seen the doctor and been diagnosed with croup so this will be a tiring week I'd say.

As Rowdy was drifting off to sleep and after a massive coughing fit, he leant over to me and said "Mum, you are my best friend".

Mermaids or Whales

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,

Good gosh, look how smart I am.

(many thanks to Jill for this forwarded email. I must be brilliant with the size of my butt!)

Lift Fear

Crash has a fear of lifts. When he was younger he was in a Westfield lift with Rowdy and Mr Chic and the lift got stuck and they had to wait for it to be moved to close to another floor so they could all climb out. So I can understand the fear. Funnily enough Mr Chic will avoid lifts as much as possible because of Crash's fear. I however, just carry on as normal and don't make a big deal over it and try and make the lift experience fun (get him to press the button and make faces at him when the lift is moving and talk to other people in the lift). If Crash catches a lift with Mr Chic he gets upset, with me he's fine.

Anyway, yesterday Mr Chic went to Westfield and the entrance he would usually drive into was busy so he drove around the other side and ended up parking in the basement, instead of on the roof where he would ordinarily park. After going to the doctors, getting Hungry Jacks for lunch and doing various other shopping he told Crash that they had to catch the lift back to get the car. Into the lift with much hysteria and carrying on from Crash and up to the roof-top level they went. Only to discover his car wasn't there which is at the point he remembered he'd parked it on the basement level. Back into the lift they go......................

Poor Tigger

Rowdy woke up this morning and said "Hi Mum", he then proceeded to throw his toy Tigger out of the bed so Tigger landed with a soft thud on the floor. I was about to say "aww poor Tigger" when Rowdy comes out with "aww he died".

When searching for a picture of Tigger to put with this post I came across this instead. I loved it!

Spotto

On our trip to the zoo we were stuck in traffic for ages because of a car accident ahead of us. To pass the time I introduced the boys to the game of "spotto". Every time they saw a red car they had to say spotto. Red trucks, red buses and red motorbikes were also acceptable.

"Spotto!" says Crash

"Where?" I say

"up that street we just passed" he replies

"Spotto!" says Rowdy

"Where?" I say

"that garbage bin" he replies

"Ummm, no garbage bins don't count even though they do have wheels".

"Spotto" was over a week ago and they are still playing it. All. the. time.

At least they are specific now.

I walked in the front door last night. "Spotto! Mum's wearing a red shirt!".

My Child Genius

Allright so Rowdy isn't a genius, but a complete smart-arse. We've been getting the boys to race each other to do things, mainly so they'd actually get done and they would think they were playing a game in the meantime. However Rowdy has developed a sly strategy to ensure his constant victory. Last night they had a race to get changed into their pyjamas. Mr Chic helped Rowdy and I helped Crash. As we were frantically trying to undress them Rowdy threw a wobbly and burst into tears and starting yelling "I DON'T WANT TO RACE!!!", ok ok, so we calmed him down and told him we weren't racing anymore and continued to get them both changed but at a much slower pace and with less giggling. Rowdy was dressed before Crash (well Crash had to run to the toilet halfway through and then be chased through the house in order to get him to wash his hands). As the last button was done up on Rowdy's pyjamas he put his hands up in the air and declared "I AM THE WINNER!". Crash was dismayed "but we weren't racing anymore!"

Genius or smart-arse?

Innocence

Mr Chic's Dad was asking Rowdy who his friend was at preschool. Rowdy says "Mya". "oh so you have a girlfriend do you? already?". Crash pipes up "yeah and I have a boyfriend, his name is Liam".

The Kerrigans

Saturday night after the boys were fed Crash requested we flick on "the funny show", Australia's Funniest Home Videos. I've watched it with the boys before and we've giggled and and moaned at the various clips that we've seen (and secretly hoped they didn't learn a new trick for their bikes in the process. However this time Mr Chic joined us and we found ourselves all sitting in front of the tv laughing our heads off - mind you, Mr Chic and I were more laughing at the boy's reactions. After a while Mr Chic looked over at me and said "weren't they sitting like this in that scene from The Castle?" I said "ummmm yes, we are The Kerrigans!".

Fog Head and Ramblings

Disclaimer: This post is written with a foggy head and is a rambling of the past day. No responsibility is taken for it's structure or lack-of-point.

So my car was serviced yesterday and Mr Chic and the boys came to pick me up from work. They waited around the corner for me in the next street and as I walked up the street to meet them I was looking for Mr Chic's car but couldn't see it for the life of me. I stopped and was about to ring him when I hear "beep beep!" and right in front of me is MY car - how I didn't see it is beyond my levels of comprehension at the moment.

Mr Chic tells me the boys haven't had dinner so while he stopped to get fuel I asked the boys what would they like for dinner. Crash said yoghurt on toast. Ahuh. As I had some rolls leftover from my lunch I suggested eggs on breadrolls and we squish them down. This idea went down well. I made the "egg-burgers" when we got home and Crash said it was "super-yummy". He then requested another bread roll with peanut butter and demolished that also. I swear this kid eats more than me (at times anyway).

On the way home we stopped at the car service place to pick up Mr Chic's car (oh it's so very complicated but he'd driven there in his car, paid for my service, swapped cars so he could see how my car felt after the service and then drove to get me from work). So back to swapping cars. I was fossicking through my handbag to find my car keys and somehow managed to whack my head into the door frame. I ooze talent at times. I'm now slightly disorientated and rubbing my head whilst saying "ow" which the boys thought was hilarious.

I'd previously taken cold tablets so couldn't take anymore panadol for the headache which I then had for the rest of the evening. Delightful really.

During the night I woke up and then couldn't get back to sleep because of the pain in my throat. I reckon I swallowed a running chainsaw at some point. So I flicked on the tv. Mr Chic had abandoned me earlier in the evening as he couldn't sleep also so I knew he'd be on the lounge and I wouldn't be disturbing anyone by watching tv. In my delirious state I was almost convinced that I should get on the phone and ring Danoz Direct and buy the suck-me-in slimming pants that were advertised. Flick. Oh now I'm learning about pilates. Flick. Some religious show. Flick. Country music flim clip. Flick. Static - well that's an improvement. Ok back to slimming pants. Thank goodness that finished and Good Morning America came on. That must have been mind-numbing enough to allow me to drift in and out of sleep again for the rest of the night.

As Mr Chic is also sick I told the boys that they had to be good for Dad and be good helpers today before I took off for work where I can happily sit at my desk and not speak for the entire day all going well.

As I was finishing this post I got an email from Mr Chic. Crash has been putting toys away, he got himself dressed and picked out clothes for Rowdy and changed his nappy and pretty well got him changed as well. Then he helped Mr Chic unpack the dishwasher which involves actually drying stuff with a teatowel before putting things away. Mr Chic said he had no idea he was so good at it. I knew, I let him do it all the time when I'm at home but we've also introduced a "chores chart" - the boys do jobs around the house and they get coins which they can save up and spend on toys or whatever. Crash has declared that he wants to save up to buy Darby. This is Darby. Mr Chic isn't so sure!

My 6 Loves

Brenda at MummyTime tagged me in her blog about "My 6 Loves". Of course I love Mr Chic, Crash and Rowdy to bits so I thought I'd just mention some little things that just make me happy.

1. I love it when Crash walks up to me out of the blue and rubs his hand on my shoulder "is that nice Mum?"

2. I love it when Rowdy gives me a kiss on the lips and says "that was a syoppy kiss Mum!" (syoppy because he can't pronounce "l's"),

3. I love it when my boys play together happily and I can just sit and watch them interact. I could do this all day. I love their conversations and games.

4. I love arriving home from work and being greeted by the boys excitedly at the door "Mum! Mum!" and then being asked "what did you get for us from the shops today?" without fail.

5. I love the smell you get when you open a jar of coffee for the first time - heaven

6. I love sipping on icey cold Baileys (a rare event but I just love it!)

Now I'm supposed to tag 6 people, but if you are reading this then consider yourself tagged!

Holidaying

What a wonderful week off work. How lovely to live in jeans for the entire time too.

What did we do? Well Saturday was a quiet day shopping and going to the library. Sunday we met up with some old friends for lunch and as we had Mr Chic's sand-friendly truck we then took the boys to the beach where Crash made his first ever sand-castle.

Monday the boys were in preschool so Mr Chic and I took out the big boat and did a spot of fishing. It was cold but sunny and the weather was calm so we ended up at a spot which never fails to make me vomit. Thankfully Mr Chic was happy to be my deckie and do all my rigs so I could concentrate on catching fish and not vomitting (although I did end up with a hook stuck in my hand at one point). I caught 4 leatherjackets so not a great catch but it fed the boys for 2 nights.

Tuesday the boys were in preschool again so Mr Chic and I headed out to a local restaurant for a fantastic lunch and I had a massive glass of wine before we went to the flicks to see The Hangover. It was hilarious and I highly recommend anyone see it.

Wednesday was the zoo. The boys loved it but I swear they carry a checklist. "Tiger, yep, seen it, check, now what's the next one Mum?" and we saw the entire zoo in the space of a few hours and that included stopping for lunch. Talk about a short attention span. I could have sat and watched the seals swim around for hours and thankfully we did stop there for a whole 2 minutes! A special thank you to Mel for the Hungry Jacks free zoo ticket which we were able to use for Crash!

After the exhaustion caused by the zoo our planned trip to the museum for Thursday was looking doubtful (read: we could not be stuffed). So we asked Crash if he really wanted to go or if he was too tired. He suggested a "play day at home" which sounded like a fabulous idea so Thursday was spent lounging around at home.

Friday was Luna Park. It was a gorgeous sunny day too. We were stunned that Crash wanted to go on the "Wild Mouse" and even more stunned that he wanted to go on it a second time (in fact came close to throwing a tantrum because we wanted to stop for a coffee and he wanted to go on the rollercoaster). Mr Chic wasn't as happy but obliged for the little guy's sake. Rowdy got upset on some of the kids rides - so much so they had to stop the ride so we could go in and take him off. To his credit though he attempted a couple of them a second time later in the day and didn't cry. Mr Chic took Crash down the slide in Coney Island and then Crash did the slide by himself. Rowdy wasn't real interested so he and I just watched. At the end of the day I bought the boys fairy floss as I had promised. Even with the extra sugar I still ended up carrying Rowdy up the hill to the station.

I told Crash last night that I had to go back to work today. He said "ooooh, I'm going to miss you Mum".

A Pause with Rose Coloured Glasses

And so another financial year came to an end. Hoorah. Break out the bubbly. No, not really. But it is a relief for work to slow down after the pace of the past few months took it's toll. I am having the next week off work to stop and relax and relook at the world through my rose coloured glasses.

There is plenty planned of course. The boys are at preschool for 2 days so Mr Chic and I will get some much needed time to ourselves. Fish and chips on the boat in the sunshine is sounding particularly good. As is the movies on tight-arse Tuesday. A movie in the middle of the day so I'm likely to stay awake? Bliss.

If the weather is good we'll take the boys to the Zoo and Luna Park later in the week. Rowdy is still obsessed with roller-coasters and Crash just wants fairy floss. I was 21 the last time I went to Luna Park - that was quite a few years ago!

The boys are also keen on dinosaurs so a trip to the museum will be another day. I told you there was plenty planned.

I can't wait.