Smoke and Dishwashers

As I got out of my car on Friday night I was greeted on the front verandah by Mr Chic, Crash and Rowdy. Crash blurts out "Mum, the dishwasher died". I walk in the house and it STINKS of an electrical burning smell. It turns out that Mr Chic heard a noise and ignored it figuring it may be the new neighbours moving in, then he smelt something and discovered gigantic plumes of smoke coming from the dishwasher. He ushered the boys into the loungeroom and returned to unplug it and ensure that it wasn't on fire. Thankfully it wasn't, but probably wasn't far from it. Smoke filled the house. So yes, the dishwasher really did die. But a kitchen fire was prevented.

Can we afford a new dishwasher? When my tax refund comes back in 2 weeks we should be fine. 2 WEEKS! Yes, surely we can wash things by hand until then right? Mr Chic wasn't all that keen on the idea and after half an hour of standing in the kitchen doing dishes I was cursing and of a similar opinion.

Mr Chic went to one shop, found one that he liked and bought it. It got delivered yesterday afternoon and is now installed.

Crash and Rowdy thought it was quite a novelty to wash up dishes by hand - they had never heard of such a thing and were keen to help, well for one set of dishes only.

By the end of Saturday we were exhausted and as the dishwasher was only partially installed (one pipe wasn't long enough), Mr Chic & I opted for an easy dinner of dips, cheeses, bikkies and smoked oysters - yumm (not to mention a few drinks).

Aaaaaah yes feet up and totally chillaxed!

Cougars

I loved this skit on Saturday Night Live awhile back - sending up "cougars". It cracked me up.

The Urban Dictionary has numerous definitions of "cougars":

"An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together. "

"A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities) waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey" "

"An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you."

Nova 96.9 have a cruise on tonight called "The Cougar Cruise" and I've been listening to the radio each day as they interview prospective "cougars" for this cruise. The main point being to ask the women "how low would they go", ie, what's the youngest age that the guy will be that they'd sleep with? (well there's no sleep happening I'm certain, but you know what I mean!).

Part of the qualification criteria for being a "cougar" is being over the age of 35. THIRTY FIVE. I turn 35 in October. If I was single does that mean I'd qualify as a "cougar" (presuming I'd be wanting to sink my claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross my path, which being single, why wouldn't I).

BUT if I'm now out with my girlfriends having a few drinks will "young bucks" think we are cougars on the prowl? Or perhaps the wedding rings, bags under our eyes and stray bits of vomit and snot from the kids on our clothing give us away?

Incidently - the red-headed cougar in the above picture is a celebrity we all know. Can you guess who?

The Addiction

Crash has a problem and we don't really know what to do. He's a thumb sucker. Here he is with one of his "blankies" - this was taken awhile back now and the blankies have gone to the Dummy Fairy who took Rowdy's dummies one night. Crash liked to hold the corner of a blankie whilst sucking his thumb. We were hoping that the removal of the blankies would solve the problem. Not so. He now holds the corner of a tea towel, or a cushion, or the blanket on his bed, or his shirt. It's not all the time, mostly when he's bored or tired.

We've tried sending him to the naughty chair every time we catch him. Mr Chic has threatened amputation of his thumb. I've painted on that stuff on his finger nail that is supposed to taste gross, but he didn't care.

We asked him last night "are you a baby?". "No I'm a big boy" "well why are you sucking your thumb? do big boys suck their thumb?" "No" he replied "But I can't stop!".

We don't want him teased when he goes to school next year and we also don't want a gigantic orthodontist bill when he's older!

Help!

A Luverly Smell

I love freesias. I do. I know there are those that think they really are an out of control weed but I love them. I love how the smell of them just reminds me of spring. I never get sick of smelling them. My Grandma has them growing in her garden and all through her grass. Her lawnmower man gets frustrated at her insistence that the grass cannot be mowed at certain times of the year because of the freesias.

Grandma likes to send me home with bunches of freesias however I've discovered that both Mr Chic and Rowdy suffer from hayfever so freesias aren't allowed in the house. So this time I've taken them with me to work and they sit on my desk in the corner. The fragrance is amazing. The ants living in the freesias and playing hide and seek with me are not so amazing.

Giving Up Wine

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked. 'Are you nuts!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

September Approaches

September is always a busy month and in a week it will be here along with Spring although it feels like it's here already the weather has been so balmy in the last week or so.

So September. Events in September are:

Birthday dinner for our dear friend (must organise babysitters)

Fathers Day

Lunch at a friend and client's

My girlfriend's 40th - although she lives near Coffs so we can't actually go

2 Nephew's birthdays

My Mum's birthday and Mr Chic's Mum's birthday

Fishing Club Presentation Night (must organise babysitters)

Day trip to Mittagong

And this does not include a stack of client work I have on at the moment and all the meetings that needs to go with that (and all after hours too).

Crazy I tell you.

I suppose I'll have to think about organising something for my birthday too as that's 3 days into October. Assuming that is, that I survive September.

The Bag

Crash had been asking if we could make a bag for him to carry around his toy dog Buster. The bag of course had to be dog print. Ummmm, yeah I think we can do that. We finally found some fabric, it's flannellette pyjama fabric but he didn't know or care. Then I found a pattern online that gave me some direction.

The boys were fascinated to see the sewing machine and watch me set it up. They didn't even know I had one (I sew alot, can't you tell?). After showing them how it worked I then sent them to bed. And poured myself a glass of wine.


Cut. Oh measure and then cut. Right. Sew sew. More wine. I can do this!



Excellent one main part of the bag done. I was making 2 of course. Rowdy wasn't going to miss out. Look I even squared off the bottom corners!

Ok, next bag and more wine. The second one was easier as I'd worked out what to do making the first one!



Now for the front flaps - they are going to be messenger style bags. Hmmmm, measure, cut. Ummmm that's not a rectangle. Cut more. I'm supposed to round the corners? Forget it!

Interlude of dinner and United States of Tara and then back to the machine to finish sewing on the straps and their initials.

I reckon I did allright! I hung them on their doors for them to see when they woke up this morning. As I was getting ready for work Crash came in to see me and said "Mum, I just wanted to say thank-you!".

Makes it all worthwhile.

Amused

10 Things Guessing Game

Here's something for fun. Guess which of the following 10 statements is the INCORRECT statement (ie, all are true but one).

1. I collect Biggles books
2. I drove a Hilux Ute when I was pregnant with Crash
3. I've never had a speeding fine
4. I've sung in an SBS choir
5. I hate brussel sprouts
6. I don't have any fillings
7. I got kicked out of physics in high school for playing Uno
8. I've never been overseas
9. I have a fear of large bodies of water
10. I'm part Swedish

Hmmm, which one is the lie?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer:

And the winner is Bern of So Now What with her guess of "I hate brussel sprouts" - I actually love love love brussel sprouts.

So to expand on my statements:

1. I collect Biggles books - sure do and just love finding first editions with their original dust jackets on

2. I drove a Hilux Ute when I was pregnant with Crash - yep, a good look for a pregnant chick hopping out of a ute in a suit, but it's true

3. I've never had a speeding fine - never ever had one, just luck though I assure you.

4. I've sung in an SBS choir - sure did as a soprano - then there was some controversy with the director and it was on some current affairs show, but I'd left by then

5. I hate brussel sprouts - LOVE LOVE LOVE them (this was the incorrect statement!)

6. I don't have any fillings - none whatsoever and that is also luck and from eating those cherry fluoride tablets as a kid (or whatever they were)

7. I got kicked out of physics in high school for playing Uno - aha yes "if you want to play that game you can play outside!" declared the teacher. Oh ok then, so we left.

8. I've never been overseas - unfortunately not, one day I will I'm sure.

9. I have a fear of large bodies of water - surprisingly yes I have a big fear of water, which doesn't work real well when we own 2 boats and I have my boat license and love to fish. I can go on a boat ok, but if there is the slightest chance I will end up in the water then I have a massive panic attack. Huge.

10. I'm part Swedish - my great grandfather was Swedish and was in the Swedish Navy before coming to Australia.

Stress Management

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile...

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream..
2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

There!! See? It really does work... You're smiling already.

Old Fishing Pics

I found these pics online (bless you sir google). They are in old fishing club magazines and worth reposting (well at least I think so).

July 03 - This was the first time I'd handled a dead fish - yes, that look on my face is "ewwwwww". They weren't my biggest bream though. I can't find a pic of that one.

July 03 - My BIG flathead - this pic made it to the local paper (lame claim to fame hey!). Mr Chic has since out-fished me and got a flathead that was the size of Crash at 18 months.

April 05 - When Crash was a bub we held a fishing club weigh-in at our house. Before everyone weighed their fish, I put Crash on the scales. He looks suitably impressed. Such a chubby bubby!

Pant Wearer

I was reading this article today http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/845226/woman-faces-40-lashes-for-wearing-pants about the Sudanese journalist facing 40 lashes for wearing "indecent" trousers.

What crazy insanity is that law?! I will be watching with interest to see if she wins her fight.

When I received a letter of offer for a job back in the late 90's, there was a line in it that had me in stitches for ages "we prefer our female employees not to wear slacks". Yes, the 90's THIS CENTURY. This was a small suburban accounting firm with "old school" partners who made it very clear that females should be in skirts. At the time I thought it was funny and I didn't care, partly because the job was so close to home and I wanted it and partly because my backside had outgrown all of my "slacks".

Since then I've often thought I should have worn them and not given a toss - what the heck is wrong with a pants suit in an office, yet we could wear a floral dress and that would be fine (yes please cringe). The partners at the time did say that it was due to an employee working there who was rather large and wouldn't have looked any good in pants so rather than telling her what to wear, they told everyone. Nice. Incidently this employee once wore the same outfit for a week - day-in-day-out - and she didn't wash it. We could tell.

When the day came for the chief old partner to retire - the whole office wore "slacks".

Needless to say, I'm so glad I left there.